denied_me (denied_me) wrote in deardlish,

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It's been like 5 years from now that I haven't seen him after our Breakup...After our break up we still had a little communication like dropping each others a phone message until the day He told he has a new girl...until his Phone has turned Off to forever!...It's 5 years, such a long time and from that time I never read his messages I swear, I began asking his Friends, search his name at the Web until one day,of this year,one of his Friends answered. He gave me his new cell number and I immediately called him. Surprise? Sure he is! He can't even speak a single word...I'm happy about that, coz i know, but i'm not sure if what i felt was right,that he is Happy he talked to me once again... My problem? is that I have an existing BF, we've together for 3 years now, and im not sure of the L-O-V-E feeling but sure thing is that I'm not Happy anymore! I know that looking around to other guy is so wrong, I'm so confuse now!DO I really want another guy? I feel like I really wanna be alone for now and just relax, I don't like anymore hangups! 3 years is quite a while and Ours is like an extra ordinary, we've been together through Up's and Down's of HIS LIFE only! or maybe I just feel so tired of all his problem that sometimes I feel like I am his Mother who will definetely do everithing for him. Sound like i'm Angry? Yes, a bit! Do I want to Quit? SO MUCH!!!! but how can I? I really don't want to hurt him....but i'm wondrin is there anyway I cannot hurt him when I tell him I'm Quiting?
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