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Thursday, October 26th, 2006
9:20 pm - Taking A Break

Hi, I've been in a relationship with this guy for two years. But we've had some issues lately (stories in my journal if you're interested). I was talking with my wise older brother last night, and telling him that I was thinking about giving my boyfriend what he wants and giving him his freedom, letting him go. My brother says that rather than all together letting him go, that I suggest to my boyfriend that we 'take a break'.

I've never experienced 'taking a break' from a relationship before. I'm not sure exactly how that works. What are the guidelines?

So I'm here to see if I can get any advice, suggestions, opinions, stories of your own experiences if you've tried this before, etc...

I'd appreciate any help. Thanks.

- Rapture

current mood: confused

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Monday, October 2nd, 2006
4:17 pm - Love and such

It seems that I have been lucky recently. That I have found someone that I can be with and talk to for hours and hours. Someone that understands me.

I think that I may be falling hard and fast for him.

Maybe the one.

And I know that he feels the same about me. We want to spend every second we can together. It feels so wonderful to kiss, to touch, to be together.

And I don't know what to do. Both of us have someone else. We both are engaged to someone else. And both of our others know about him and I. To an extent. Our situation is an odd one. We are both in open relationships, where we are allowed to have relationships with other people. To make it worse our significant others were the ones who introduced us.

Now all I can think about is him, not my husband to be. This is my problem.

I know that staying with the one I'm with while wanting to be with the one I want is wrong. But I don't want to leave the one I'm with just to be with the one I want. And doing nothing till something breaks is the wrong choice. From where I am I see no good option. I don't know what to do.

I need some good advice. And I need it soon.

current mood: melancholy

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Sunday, February 26th, 2006
8:40 pm

Hello Everyone! I am new here and don’t normally post to communities but I have a problem I really need an objective opinion on. It is a relationship issue I have with a male friend I have put it under a cut as it is long Read more...Collapse )

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Friday, September 16th, 2005
7:03 pm - Confuse_me
denied_me It's been like 5 years from now that I haven't seen him after our Breakup...After our break up we still had a little communication like dropping each others a phone message until the day He told he has a new girl...until his Phone has turned Off to forever!...It's 5 years, such a long time and from that time I never read his messages I swear, I began asking his Friends, search his name at the Web until one day,of this year,one of his Friends answered. He gave me his new cell number and I immediately called him. Surprise? Sure he is! He can't even speak a single word...I'm happy about that, coz i know, but i'm not sure if what i felt was right,that he is Happy he talked to me once again... My problem? is that I have an existing BF, we've together for 3 years now, and im not sure of the L-O-V-E feeling but sure thing is that I'm not Happy anymore! I know that looking around to other guy is so wrong, I'm so confuse now!DO I really want another guy? I feel like I really wanna be alone for now and just relax, I don't like anymore hangups! 3 years is quite a while and Ours is like an extra ordinary, we've been together through Up's and Down's of HIS LIFE only! or maybe I just feel so tired of all his problem that sometimes I feel like I am his Mother who will definetely do everithing for him. Sound like i'm Angry? Yes, a bit! Do I want to Quit? SO MUCH!!!! but how can I? I really don't want to hurt him....but i'm wondrin is there anyway I cannot hurt him when I tell him I'm Quiting?

current mood: confused

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Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
8:49 pm - hello

hello. I have just joined this group in an attempt to gain some sanity in my life. i and very lost and do not know how to get out of the rut that my life is currently in. parents on the verge of divorce, an alcoholic mother, a sister in college with no ambition or self love, depression around every corner, death, secrets, memories wanting to be forgotten, and me, a lost teenager.... that is what my life consists of.

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Monday, April 11th, 2005
11:12 pm - help
x987 i have a friend she has a very large problem now before i get too much into this yes her problem has alot to do with metaphysics more commonly known as magick

my friend is in love with two guys

she fell in love with J first but she was messed up in the head then and kinda scared him, she met A second and was less messed up because of J's friendship with her

she knows J offline but A she met online and has never met, she fell in love with him all the same and has talked with him on the phone and see him over web cam over a instant messenger she knows cannot be tricked into playing a recording

due to cercumstances beyond her control she lost touch with J and during that time got engaged to A over the internet

however she loves J and A equally for almost the same reasons

the magick comes in in that she is very powerful but due to some things is completely sheilded off with no saftey vent or control or balance to her power, to add to this she is a negative energy converter which means her sheilds are constantly being filled with raw magick,

for some reason to help her she soulbonded to these two guys, J provides a safe release for the power while A is what keeps it all in blance

J basically is the dark side and A is the light side with her in between

she really doesnt want to choose and J is actually okay with sharing her in all meaning of the word however A doesnt mind sharing her with him in terms of hanging out but he doesnt want to share her any further

she personally would rather be open to them both for all things

what should she do?

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Thursday, March 24th, 2005
1:15 pm - I'm confused, maybe you can help me out?

Read more...Collapse )

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Thursday, January 20th, 2005
11:01 pm - First post

First of all I just wanted to say hi, I'm new here to the community.. my name is Jen, I'm 21, a college student, like cats and am an artist (pretty much all there is to it).

[Unknown LJ tag]I am having a problem with getting over my most recent ex b/f. I miss him a lot but we don't talk anymore. We go to school together and see each other *every day* during the semester. We're in all the same classes. I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore (we tried being "friends" for a while) but it was only because I was so hurt bc he told me he had a new girlfriend, and I knew in my heart that I couldn't accept being in his life as a friend if he had a new girlfriend.. because I still loved him. Am I in the wrong here? Should I try to be friends with this person?

The thing with this that makes it so hard for me to let go of him is that he was like a best friend to me, and I feel like the reason why he ended things with me was because he got scared, and he even told me he got scared. Ackk. He even left the door open for a possibility for us to get back together if we were "meant to be" and we both missed the relationship.. we had a fairly friendly breakup I guess as friendly as it could be, and he said we could be friends in the meantime. But I got hurt because he wasn't acting like my friend anymore (not saying a word to me all day long in school is not what I consider a friend.. and I tried to make convos with him but eventually gave up).. and he led me on saying the relationship might work out again only to tell me he started to see someone else in September. Am I stupid for not wanting to be his friend? And how do I shut off those feelings of missing him when I am forced to keep seeing him all the time (small major in our college and have almost all the same classes together). I have been following through with not talking to him ever since, we don't talk to each other in class even though his friends/mutual acquaintances will talk to me. Since then I've noticed he pays more attention to me and looks at me more, but we don't even talk anymore.

I don't know if I was in the wrong here or not and a part of me wants to make amends with him but I don't know why. It hurt me too much to be his friend especially right now, knowing he is involved with someone else in a relationship makes me want to stay away. Don't you think if someone hurts you and they really want to be your friend they would make a strong effort to be your friend, given that they really hurt you?? So what do you think.. I know I should move on and I have been moving on, slowly, but moving on.. but still I keep feeling like I miss him.. I doubt if I should be friends with him because I know I want more than that even though a part of me wants to be friends...

I know this sounds dumb but its been on my mind ever since he left me.. rah.

PS: I hope the lj cut worked I haven't done one in a while..

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Sunday, December 5th, 2004
2:54 am - Advice?

If the new boyfriend in your life had a comment in his journal from a girl you didnt know, that said "You were fuckin' awesome last night.... c'mere, let's do it again" with a pic of a kiss - how would you handle it? Especially when that same b/f has been, for the last three nights giving you not only the cold shoulder, but being a complete asshole when he speaks to you.

What would YOU do?

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Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
12:43 pm

Hey all, if this isn't allowed, you can delete it. I just wanted to let everyone know that there's another community out there for giving and receiving advice. It's called bum_steer. Join if you think it would help you out.

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Monday, August 2nd, 2004
1:55 pm - Sorry for the blatant promo...

But I was wondering if any of you fine people here would be interested in a new community, clingon.

In the words of its illustrious owner, it's a livejournal community "for people who, in relationships or otherwise, outright love clinginess ~ whether the cling is given, received, or mutually shared. People also welcome to this community are those who are obsessive in relationships." :)

Furthermore, feel free to share lovey-dovey experiences you've had, your longings while your other half is in a far off land (like at work ^_^) or anything related to clinginess.

current mood: silly

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Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
11:51 pm
_oopps hey im new here and i need some advice:
me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months and i love him soo much but latly sometimes it feels like he dosent care as much about me as he used too. He isnt like verbaly rude or anything but when we first started dating he would send me cute emails telling me how much he loved me update his lj writing things about me and just doing cute things to show he cared he hasnt done any of that for over a month. he just seems different what do i do

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Sunday, June 27th, 2004
3:56 pm

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Sunday, May 30th, 2004
11:04 pm

Hi everyone.. I'm not exactly new to the community but this is my first time posting...
I first met J. in October 2002. We dated for a month or so before he broke up with me because he was moving from Miami to New York. I was very hurt because he was my first real boyfriend, he was the first guy I made out with (yeah I was 18... I'm a late bloomer I know!) Anyway... a lot of stuff happened which made me want to hate him but I couldn't forget about him. Almost a year later I get a letter from him telling me he was in Navy Bootcamp... so we started writing to each other. He apologized over and over for being a jerk and assured me that he was a changed person and that he wanted to be with me. So we got back together when he got out of bootcamp. He was stationed in Texas so we used to talk on the phone every once in a while. A month later things started getting weird... he had gotten in trouble for some things but he wasn't sure what they woudl do about it. Anyway in the beginning of April he broke up with me AGAIN because he found out he would be stationed in Japan for 2-3 years. Again, I was heart broken because I didn't believe that was the real reason why he wanted to end our relationship. He called me 3 weeks later saying he missed me and I told him we could be friends. SOOO.... the other day he called me again... this time to tell me that he somehow switched orders with someone so that he could be stationed in Mayport, Fl. instead of Japan. He says he did it to be closer to me....
Yesterday he called to say he was in Miami and he wanted to see me. Since I'm home alone for the weekend and I could use some company I told him to come over.. we spent the entire day together at my house. I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. He told me that he knows he wants to be with me and that he doesn't deserve another chance but if I give it to him he would prove to me that he cares about me and doesn't wanna let me go. I agreed to be his girlfriend...
he left around 6PM to help his friend do something and came back to my house at 11 PM... Somehow I ended up losing my virginity to him last night (yes I know... still a late bloomer!). He left this morning to talk to his dad and promised to come back later. The bad thing is... J. is leaving to Iraq on June 7th for 6-10 months!! He says he wants to marry me when he comes back which freaks me out totally cuz I'm only 20!! What if he comes back and realize he doesn't wanna be with me?? He says he will try to email me every day or write or whatever but what if he doesn't?? When he was in Texas we had some problems cuz I wanted to talk to him every day and sometimes he wouldn't call in like 4 or 5 days. I don't know what kind of mess I've gotten myself into!! I care for J. so much but I don't think I can handle him breaking up with me FOR THE THIRD TIME!!!!!!

Sorry about all the ranting guys but I could really use some advice!!

(Cross Posted!)

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Friday, May 28th, 2004
4:21 am
__heartstrings_ This is a question coming from someone who is very hated, or at least not liked very well by most of the "Friends" I claim to have.

I know how to meet people and I have 3029748239084 aquaintances that I talk to and say hi to when I see them and stuff, but I seriously have NO friends at all. I hate it. I'm never hanging out with anyone and if I am, it's only because I begged, and I was a last resort.

People call me annoying and stuff. it sucks. So yeah, my question is, how do you make friends? and how do you keep them? like, not how do you meet people, but how do you make people like you? Someone's gotta know the answer!!

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Monday, May 24th, 2004
3:01 am

This is going to be long. but if anyone actually reads this, i will be grateful. and just ignore my typos...

hereCollapse )

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Monday, May 17th, 2004
12:31 am

I'm dating a guy, who I'm in love with, who refuses to let me tell anyone we're dating. We live in a dorm and both have roommates so this is an increbidly difficult thing to do but we still manage to get time alone, sometimes, like once a week, although mostly all he ever wants to do when we're alone is have sex. He doesn't want me to tell anyone we're together because he doesn't want to be monogomous, and doesn't want our friends to get involved and thinks people would look down on him for dating me because I'm not attractive enough (sounds like an ass, right?)

Lately he has been making little to no effort towards me. I only get to see him if I go out of my way to do so. I'm in love with him, but don't want to be. I want to talk to one of my friends but I can't because I promised I wouldn't tell anyone we're together. He hardly has any feelings towards me. I've lied to some of my friends to hide that I'm with this guy which makes me feel even worse about the whole situation. The sex is really good, and sometimes I feel like he cares, plus he's intelligent and fun and really attractive, but he makes me unhappy a lot.. I don't know what to do.

Please help!

current mood: depressed

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Friday, May 14th, 2004
12:50 am - intro

Ok,its kinda hard to explain my relationship with George,but I'll give it a try.Please try to be kind in your comments,but honesty is also the best policy.

George and I met three years ago thru an online forum,and we immediately hit it off.We thought each other was cool,and we fell for each other almost instantaneously.However,we both were spoken for at the time and while he did not like my other half,he waited until I was single to make a move.We had our share of drama (my mom not liking him or wanting me to date hime while I was still underage,friends being jerk offs,etc),but we always managed to pull thru.We finally began officially dating in December of 2001,and shortly after,my ex came to visit for christmas.This ex and I had dated for awhile,and he had salvaged me from a dangerous relationship before I even met George,and I was still somewhat in love with this other guy.So while he visited,he and I had sort of a fling.And it was beyond obvious to everyone what was going on except for myself,who was still in denial about the whole thing.My other half called me crying several times,sending me tearful emails about how I was treating him and I just brushed it off like I was nothing-I actually became angry that he was inhibiting my actions with Ian.The relationship with George was great,but George,due to abuse he suffered as a child,doesn't think very highly of himself and even though Ian came from a similar backround,he had an ego.And well,I had an ego and our egos meshed well together-I realized in time that was my main reason for loving him-he fed my ego.

I took George for granted and he dropped hints several times about splitting up,but I ignored it thinking "he doesn't know what he'll be missing".We first split up in April of 2002,and immediatel after,he began to see this ex of his and I became insanely jealous.Ian was pretty much my only source of ego comfort,telling me that George was in the wrong and that he didn't deserve me,etc.He began talking about him moving in with me as roomates and all that grand stuff.I grudgingly accepted after he talked to my mother about it and they both were very gung ho about it taking place.In the back of my mind,I had secretely hoped things would work out for us and took this as a sign for a chance for romantic reconcilation,since things had never been "closed" between us.George,in the meantime,did not take it very well and the week Ian was planning on moving in,he was going to move out of town (he changed his plans later though),and accused me pushing him away.Everything was fine when ian first arrived,and then two weeks into it he began controlling me.He did it when he first visited,but nothing to this magnitude-he would start arguments with my friends so they'd hate me and leave,he even turned my mom against me a few times.he tried to control my money,and he and the friends he did not scare off were controlling and abusive towards my every move.He was physically and mentally abusive and I still did *not* fully see it,because everytime after something happened,he'd word it in such a way to make me feel like it was my fault and that he forgave me.George all the time was telling me "kick him out,get rid of him Kat",but I couldn't.because I have a psychological disorder that sometimes impairs my better judgement,a call was placed in by a friend to social services,and Ian was officially ordered out of the state of california after someone called to report I was wandering the streets in my pyjamas trying to find a payphone to get out of town (in the middle of the day).

More drama ensued after he left,and i lost alot of friends whom were also friends with Ian because of it.It was either them or George,and I chose George.We had been trying to get back together time and time again,but he always backed out.To this day,part of me always wonders whether I did anything wrong or If I was the horrible person Ian says I was,and part of me still cares about him even though I don't want to,and I think thats why subconsciously,he appears in my life every now and then.

George and I got back together in December of last year and shortly after,he said he needed his space to think.I was in a horrible car accident in February that almost cost my life and I could feel the distance between us-not only from all that happened,but also because we now live on opposite sides of the country for college and such.he had cheated on me with his roomate last year and we ended up breaking up over it so he could date her,and I found earlier last month that he was cheating on me yet again with her.he said the spark was gone,and that he needed someone closer to be with.to some extent,i almost feel like he's lying because a short time before he admitted he was dating her on the sly,he said he still had trust issues with me.When we were talking about what happened,instead of taking the high road and not bringing up what happened with Ian,he did,and threw it in my face.he said he wanted to start out fresh,and when I requested he call me by my full first name (kathleen),instead of kat,he threw an enourmous hissy fit.That's been a small example of what's happened,i can list other examples if need arises.

I think with George,I pretty much damaged his faith in everything due to Ian,and I think he still has trust issues.I'm in therapy right now for what happened with Ian,but I guess my main questions are:How do we move on from this? how do we go back to being happy friends who enjoy each others company and have no problem with the other seeing other people? how do we start from scratch? how do we even talk about what happened? how can I help him repair his faith again? how can I tell he still loves me?
how do i win back the man I love?

...I really and truly love him,and realize that while this community is for people who not only are ashamed of their adultery,but relish in it,I need some advice from people who have been in my shoes,and who can possibly relate.I realized my mistake too late,and I'm trying to make amends without us stabbing each other in the back anymore-a clean slate and fresh start.Only,I don't know how to do that,or how to tell he even loves me anymore.Help!

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Monday, April 12th, 2004
5:37 pm - At the end of the rope.
_glitterette Something is really killing me, and I need to seek advice. If you actually read all of this, I will be very flattered.

i will never forgive you...Collapse )

current mood: confused

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Monday, November 24th, 2003
4:32 pm - New Kid on the Block im 19

Almost my intired life I have been hurt or let down by friends and family and now im a very paranoid kid and every day there isnt one bad though that dosent go through my head and its scary. Im alwasy depressed and somtimes theres no reason at all for it. Its kinda ruining my r'ship im in now and i dont want it to how can ou control your own everyday fears?

current mood: numb

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