Jen (seadreams) wrote in deardlish,

First post

First of all I just wanted to say hi, I'm new here to the community.. my name is Jen, I'm 21, a college student, like cats and am an artist (pretty much all there is to it).

[Unknown LJ tag]I am having a problem with getting over my most recent ex b/f. I miss him a lot but we don't talk anymore. We go to school together and see each other *every day* during the semester. We're in all the same classes. I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore (we tried being "friends" for a while) but it was only because I was so hurt bc he told me he had a new girlfriend, and I knew in my heart that I couldn't accept being in his life as a friend if he had a new girlfriend.. because I still loved him. Am I in the wrong here? Should I try to be friends with this person?

The thing with this that makes it so hard for me to let go of him is that he was like a best friend to me, and I feel like the reason why he ended things with me was because he got scared, and he even told me he got scared. Ackk. He even left the door open for a possibility for us to get back together if we were "meant to be" and we both missed the relationship.. we had a fairly friendly breakup I guess as friendly as it could be, and he said we could be friends in the meantime. But I got hurt because he wasn't acting like my friend anymore (not saying a word to me all day long in school is not what I consider a friend.. and I tried to make convos with him but eventually gave up).. and he led me on saying the relationship might work out again only to tell me he started to see someone else in September. Am I stupid for not wanting to be his friend? And how do I shut off those feelings of missing him when I am forced to keep seeing him all the time (small major in our college and have almost all the same classes together). I have been following through with not talking to him ever since, we don't talk to each other in class even though his friends/mutual acquaintances will talk to me. Since then I've noticed he pays more attention to me and looks at me more, but we don't even talk anymore.

I don't know if I was in the wrong here or not and a part of me wants to make amends with him but I don't know why. It hurt me too much to be his friend especially right now, knowing he is involved with someone else in a relationship makes me want to stay away. Don't you think if someone hurts you and they really want to be your friend they would make a strong effort to be your friend, given that they really hurt you?? So what do you think.. I know I should move on and I have been moving on, slowly, but moving on.. but still I keep feeling like I miss him.. I doubt if I should be friends with him because I know I want more than that even though a part of me wants to be friends...

I know this sounds dumb but its been on my mind ever since he left me.. rah.

PS: I hope the lj cut worked I haven't done one in a while..
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